While school, sports and extracurriculars put pressure on students, sometimes the most stressful forces come from high parental expectations. Parents influence their children’s lives, and their demands for success often put pressure on them. Students understand that their parents want what is best for them, but sometimes believe that pressure can be too demanding.
For sophomore Erica Vu’s parents, getting As is expected, leading her to focus on her academics. This high standard has also fostered inter-sibling competition.
“Ever since I was young, they’ve always compared me to my older brother. So I feel this pressure to be better than my brother,” Vu said.
While Vu’s parents desire high grades, they also want her to participate in religious activities. Balancing both has been challenging and causes arguments between her and her parents.
“Every night they make me pray with them and do prayers, and since the beginning of sophomore year, I’ve been really stressed and in sophomore slump. And whenever they pray at night, they always force me to go out and that means I miss at least 20 minutes of my studying time and so I don’t feel prepared. So I always argue with them,” Vu said.
Vu believes that she would also push her own children, but would make sure to be understanding of them.
“I would also be strict on my kids when it comes to academics, but also take them out for fun and activities instead of forcing them to study all the time,” Vu said.
Likewise, freshman Yousef Lubbadeh also feels pressure to perform well in his classes. As a result, he often feels nervous when taking tests. When he did not get the score he aimed for, he clashed with his parents over unrealistic expectations.
“I got a grade they weren’t happy on at a test, and I told them that sometimes I’m going to get stuff wrong. It’s natural,” Lubbadeh said.
Lubbadeh understands the point of high standards, but thinks they differ from his own expectations.
“I see why, because they want me to do better in school so I can be successful, but sometimes I think it’s too much,” Lubbadeh said.
Junior Pratham Joshi also deals with stress to succeed, since his family immigrated to the United States from Mumbai, India, in search of better opportunities.
“My parents moved here to give me and my sister a better opportunity at life, not only for themselves, but also for us. So that just means a lot to me,” Joshi said.
When students underperform academically, they often worry about their parents’ disappointment. Joshi explained how he experiences this fear and feels disheartened.
“Sometimes, maybe I feel like I’m not proud of myself or I would feel like, ‘Oh, I’m letting my parents down,’ even though that grade that I achieved or whatever the situation is, whatever the incentive that I achieved was, even if I feel proud of it, I’ll always think, ‘Oh, my parents weren’t proud of it,’” Joshi said.
Although these expectations add pressure, Joshi knows his parents just want the best for him. Joshi inspires himself to work hard by remembering he could reach success while also making his parents proud. He thinks this mindset helps him stay focused on his goals.
“I just think that keeps me in check, like, ‘Okay, I need to, not do this for my parents, but more like, do it for myself and make my parents proud along with it,’” Joshi said.
Despite the fact that Joshi thinks his parents can be harsh, he understands the importance of them having high hopes for him.
“I just think the whole concept of parental expectations is important because as a parent, you would want to instill those values into your kid moving on because at the end of the day, they’re parents and all they are trying to do is care for you and do what’s best for you so you have a successful life in the future,” Joshi said.
Similar to Joshi, junior Angel Flores appreciates his parents’ challenging expectations. He views their high standards as faith that he can be successful, instead of overly demanding expectations.
“Instead of seeing it as something that is a curse upon me, it’s an opportunity to see that people expect so much from me,” Flores said.
While Flores’s parents care about grades, their primary focus is on sports. Flores is a varsity football player and his parents’ expectations have pushed him to be better. He views the goals his parents have as a reminder of the responsibility everyone has to try and be their best selves.
“I think the expectations are good and hold us to what we need to be and what we can be,” Flores said.
Although Vu, Joshi, Lubbadeh and Flores have to live up to their parents’ high expectations, they all understand the reasons behind them. Nevertheless, their feelings towards their standards vary.
